January 9, 2012

• the day i almost lost my faith.

  It was Sunday.

  The Brave Boy and I were listening to a sermon.

  It was a choice between Bible Homework or Sermon.

  He chose the Sermon. Ha. You can listen to it here: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=517111430514

  The Preacher mentioned Losing Your Faith.

  "I almost lost my faith a couple of times," the Brave Boy commented thoughtfully.

  "You did? Want to tell me about it?"

  We stopped the sermon. I listened.

  I thought of how his daddy left his family.

  I thought of how, at the age of 6, the Brave Boy was diagnosed with cancer and told most little boys didn't survive.

  I thought of how, almost immediately after he went into remission, the Brave Mommy was told she had breast cancer.

  I thought of how, right on the heels of her battle, he was told that his cancer was back... and he might not live to see Christmas.

  I thought of how the insurance almost refused to pay for his treatment at Duke University...

  I thought of how there almost wasn't a stem cell donor.

  I thought of how he cannot go out to his favorite toy store or to school or even touch dirt because the risk of infection is too high.

  I thought of many things... and waited.

  Remember that day that I was crying about my homework?

  I remembered. He had been up in the middle of the night with stomach aches, nausea, and general yuckiness.

  Well, I had prayed and asked God for NO written questions... and then my teacher said I would have written questions... and I thought... I thought that God had not listened or that He didn't care.

  I cried. And I almost lost my faith.
  

  But then, you came up and told me that there were NO written questions...

  Ah. Yes. The faith of a child. A child who duels with death and deals with great loss... yet is worried about homework.

  And the God of the Universe cared enough to change the heart of the teacher for that day.

  Yes, the questions will be there next week. No, God does not always give us what we ask for. But on this day, He knew exactly what a little Brave Boy needed -- to know that the God who made the mountains and hung the stars... cares about homework.

  • 2:41 pm
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