March 7, 2013

  • unscheduled break

    virus + strep + sinus infection = overachiever gone terribly awry

    this could safely be considered one of the top breakdowns... THREE WEEKS!? seriously? good grief.

    much time for thinking, coughing, cheesy movies, coughing, thinking, more coughing.

    and sometimes, when I couldn't think, I just whispered a prayer over and over:

    O God of peace,

    who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved,

    in quietness and confidence shall be our strength:

    By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee,

    to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou art God;

    through Jesus Christ our Lord.

    Amen.

    1928 Book of Common Prayer

February 22, 2013

  • From the World's Trashpile.

    In the basement, lives the Golden Lady.

    She is the the Great Aunt of the Fairy Girl... and she only wear Gold Jewelry.

    She believes that Dessert should be eaten first and Chocolate is a vitamin.

    She laughs... and she prays like no one I have ever met.

    She has walked through many a Refining Fire... And come out more Beautiful.

    Could you tell your story? I mean, don't worry about it if you're too busy...

    Oh, she said, pausing with the washrag in her hand, I am never too busy to tell it...

    I found that I never tire of hearing it.

    ---

    As a very little Child, she went to her mother to tell her of a Wonderful Thing. But her dear mother had many children, was perhaps harsher than intended... and the Golden Lady remembered a wall coming down. "Grown Ups don't care. That's ok. I can take care of myself."

    Except that she couldn't really take care of herself... and she was Very Little, many men did Bad Things to her... many times.

    But no one knew.

    The guilt, the shame, the fear was paralyzing.

    To make up for it, she was always trying to be good enough, she was obsessed with making everything Perfect...

    She walked away from Religion, applied herself to an Eastern Cult, and married a Mormon who left her before her first child was born. Her own father left her mother soon after.

    She believed that all ways led to Heaven, yet the fear and pain continued to paralyze her.

    But one day she was on a bus... and a Girl was reading aloud from the Bible.

    "Look! It says here 'For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus (I Tim 2:5)'"

    And in that very MOMENT, the Golden Lady KNEW she had believed LIES and this was the Truth.

    She got a Bible, renounced the Eastern Cult, and this joy overflowed her soul that she had never ever believed existed, even though nothing had changed -- she was still BROKE and and single mom. But the JOY was REAL.

    Thus the Healing Journey began... and continues to this very day.

    You should hear her talk about the Father:

    He is MY Daddy. And He LOVES me. He thinks I'm BEAUTIFUL. I'm the Apple of His Eye. He protects me, He takes care of me... He heals me. And I can tell Him anything... because He loves me, I just want to walk along and obey Him...

    I had been thrown on the world Trashpile... and He picked me up, clothed me, and spoke LIFE into my soul.

    And does she have Stories.

    Stay tuned.

February 14, 2013

  • “Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply.
    You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause.
    When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken.
    But that should not hold you back from loving deeply.
    The pain that comes from deep love makes your love even more fruitful.
    It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant.”
    Henri Nauwen

February 12, 2013

February 6, 2013

  • not tall enough

    I bought a new shoe rack...

    opened it...

    and figured out how to do the first step

    and the last step.

    ha.

    I left it there, hoping to procure help the next day.

    When I came home,

    it was all put together.

    ?!

    Apparently the Littlest Man had decided it was the Next Level of Legos... and had the Fairy Girl figure it all out.

    The Littlest Man (aged 3) came to admire it with me.

    "It's not Tall Enough -- It needs to be so SO TALL!"

    And he jumped to show me.

    Oh dear. How did he know I had that many shoes!?

    Maybe he instinctively knows it's a long way Home... and you're going to need a lot of shoes to get there.

    http://youtu.be/l1p-QfgkLow

February 4, 2013

February 1, 2013

  • Valentine's Day... is coming?!

    At midnight,

    I sat cutting out mini-pink hearts for a Valentine's Tea Party Invitations.

    "WHY am I DOING this?!"

    "oh."

    "Because... I am Awesome. "

    "And Awesomeness comes at a cost."

    HA!

    Maybe... Maybe it's not Awesomeness. Maybe I'm just crazy lil' person who gets crazy ideas about crazy things like Valentine's Day Tea Parties. Maybe I should drink some Coke? Maybe I should... take a nap.

    ---

    Valentine's Day is like Christmas... It should not be crammed into one day. Rather it should put a little into everyday of the year.

    I was so encouraged, so refreshed, so challenged to see the trailer below.

    http://www.joniandfriends.org/jonis-corner/

January 31, 2013

  • meeting people.

    We were just leaving the Prayer Meeting when the New Girl, reflecting on the Cheerful Girl she had just met, remarked bitterly,

    "I don't think she's ever had a crisis... a time when she's hit rock bottom and didn't want to go on."

    And I thought...

                              I thought about how little we know of the heart cries and deep aches of those we meet.

    -----

    "As you walk through your days you encounter people who outwardly look quite OK because they have learned to smile and not let anyone know what they really feel deep inside.

    Some are lonely, some are hurting from a recent loss or deep wounds, some wonder if anyone really cares about them because no one seems to have time to listen, some carry a depressing load of guilt and don’t know what to do with it, some feel that if you really knew them you would not love them, so they are afraid to reveal who they truly are, and even some in church don’t know if God really loves them because they have never seen God’s love among those who are supposed to be His people.

    The fragrance of Jesus is the sweet smell of compassion, gentleness, humility, a listening, caring heart, and love far beyond any other love found in humans naturally.

    This fragrance cannot be imitated, rather it comes from an intimate loving fellowship with the Lord Jesus so that His Spirit saturates your soul, and others can touch Him in you."

    J. White

January 23, 2013

  • Real Life, Real Stories.

    The Shepherd's Daughter wonders where she will be working at the end of the month.

    The Brave Boy is very sick and the Brave Mommy is very very tired.

    The Fairy Girl has been meeting with the lawyers.

    And yet...

            and yet, we cling to the Knowledge that He writes Beautiful Stories.

    Do not some of the Most Glorious Stories include Tears? Great Loss? Hard Questions...

    Here's to Beautiful Stories.

    "I know you have a little strength left, yet you have kept my word and not denied Me." - Revelation 3:8

January 21, 2013